Least Surprising News of All-Time: Millions Call Out Sick After Super Bowl Sunday...

The maker of Heinz ketchup has proposed making the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday. Altruistic though it may seem, the company is almost certainly hoping that the campaign will inspire football fans to bring on the post-game food comas with the help of its stable of products.

Aiming to appeal to people’s sense of both productivity and patriotism, Heinz cited a statistic that more than 16 million people call in sick or simply don’t go to the work the day after the Super Bowl, leading to an annual loss of $1 billion.

Kind of goes without saying that the Monday following the Super Bowl is the most called-out day in the United States. Whether or not your favorite team is participating in the big ole game, no one wants to drag their asses to the office after quaffing pizza rolls and Timmy's girlfriends world famous buffalo chicken dip. By the way, is there a more overrated and cliche food to bring to a football game than buffalo chicken dip. I feel like no one eats the dip, but rather argue as to who's is better, cheesier, thicker, whatever. Bottomline, it's sent me straight to the toilet on numerous, painful occasions and I have since learned to stay away from the stuff.

Nevertheless, Heinz's effort to make "Smunday" (stupid ass name) a national holiday is a solid idea and it got me thinking about other days I enjoy calling out of work for. Those who know me know I'm no stranger to taking an old fashioned mental health day (or 20), but I can't help but think of a handful of days where I have zero motivation, which isn't saying much in comparison to other days.

First day that comes to mind is the day after Thanksgiving. If you're lucky enough to already have that day off then congratulations to you. I've been fortunate to work for companies' who offer black Friday as a paid holiday and couldn't imagine having to stare at a computer all day with half a blueberry pie still in my stomach...I'd much rather do that at home while watching Home Improvement reruns.

Next day that comes to mind is any Friday during the summer. Yes I know what you're thinking: "hey Brian, you can't call out sick every Friday in the summer!" You wanna bet?


Third date which brings zero motivation and desire to sit in an office is the 5th of July, or 6th of July if the 4th falls on a weekend... Make sense? Again, if you get lucky and the 4th falls on a weekend chances are you'd have the 5th off already, then that leaves the 6th of July. Hell that whole week should be paid time off. It's only American.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/288409

How is My Inauguration Friday Going?

January 20, 2017: The date millions have had circles on their calendars for months. Regardless of belief and opinion, this is truly a date which will change our lives forever. One thing we can take solace in, is the realization that we are American, we live in a democratic society and have the freedom we have because of our men and women sacrificing their lives each and every day.

That being said, let me give you a little insight into how my day is going on this Inauguration Friday:

8:29am: I arrive 31 minutes early for work on a rather balmy Friday in January, only to find an empty office in which I don't have a key, so I wait around for eight minutes for someone to let me in. After said eight minutes, I figure I'll take a walk and enjoy some of this air.

8:38am: I walk outside to find a parking ticket on my windshield with the parking ENFORCER parked next to my car ready to pull away. I look at the time the ticket was written: 8:34am. Are you shitting me? The (female) parking enforcer rolls her windows down after I demand her to, telling me I've parked in a handicap spot. I plead my case, say I had to unlock my office for my co-workers and I am about to move my car, only to no avail. $200, yes $2fucking00 down the drain. Should I contest? My sources tell me it's not worth it...which isn't reassuring.

11:15am: Flip on the live coverage of the Inauguration on Facebook live, mostly for a glimpse into the facial reactions of the Trump’s, Obama’s and Clinton’s. I remember watching live in 2008 when Barry was being sworn into office and remember how excited I was. Today, however, I’m nervous.

12:01pm: I bite into a stale Dunkin Donuts munchkin.

1:00pm: I realize people are probably having a better day than I am. Oh well, can only go up from here. A new era indeed.

Second (Assist) Opinion: Five Songs Guaranteed to Bring You Back to Your High School Days

There are fewer things in life that instantly bring a smile to my face than hearing a jam that takes my mind back to the days of high school, or, more specifically, any point in time between 2001-2007. Ask any one of my closest friends and they will tell you this period of time was not only my prime in terms of looks and athleticism, but also the golden age in music and will remember these songs forever. Didn't matter what type of music was playing on our car stereos (or actual stereo system for that matter), simply because we didn't know any better. Hearing a song that came out during that time period today brings a sense of nostalgia that is unrivaled to any other feeling and will most-likely drive myself down a rabbit hole of YouTubing similar songs I used to blare in my 2001 Toyota Camry. Here is where productivity suffers...

That being said, I decided to release my list of top-five songs that will instantly bring my mind back to the worry-free days of high school, when life's most important responsibilities included not being late to the bus leaving for hockey practice and figuring out where to get beer for the upcoming weekend. Since all my buddies and I listened to was punk/alternative rock (ie. Senses Fail, Brand New, etc.) this list is heavily of this genre, no disrespect to Ludacris, Petey Pablo, Lil Jon and others. Whether you agree or disagree (and if you watched FUSE every morning before school like I did, you will probably agree), I guarantee you'll go searching for some old burned CD's:

Honorable Mention: Buried A Lie - Senses Fail

All I can say about Senses Fail is what the hell happened to these guys? When the Taste of Chaos tour came to Portland back in 2006 you couldn't find an extra ticket anywhere (except in the pockets of the Scarborough High School hockey team because we had a game that night). If I need an instant pick me up or playlist to accompany me at the gym, Senses Fail was featured 99% of the time. Was a major fan of their first two CD's but have zero interest in anything they've put out since.

5. Until the Day I Die - Story of the Year

Fuse, Fuse, Fuse. I can't tell you how many times I've watched this music video before school on the Fuse network. By the way, each view of this video was completely voluntary. Why? I'll tell you why: that dude's guitar flip at the end of the video. You know how difficult it is to do an air-guitar flip without looking like a moron? I mean, I pulled it off, but still...

4. A Decade Under the Influence - Taking Back Sunday

Ah yes, the ultimate sing-a-long song on repeat while driving to school. I say this because this was an every day occurence sophomore year and still brings so much nostalgia and good vibes whenever it gets played. Had the opportunity to hear this live on a few occasions and this is a true jam that I am convinced will never get old.

3. Ohio is for Lovers - Hawthorne Heights

The biggest screamo jam there ever was. Enough said.

2. The Taste of Ink - The Used

A lyrical masterpiece, if I do say so myself. I can't tell you how many times the opening line "Is it worth it, can you even hear me?" has been shouted throughout the locker room or inside my best friend's 1990 Volvo station wagon.

1. Seventy Times 7- Brand New

Brand New will forever have a special place in my heart as the number one band that brings me back to my high school days, with this track leading the way 100% of the time. Like TBS, I had the privilege of attending a few Brand New concerts and nothing gets the crowd going like ole Seventy Times 7.

Thomas Sweeps Hawaii, Establishes Himself as Early POY Candidate in 2017...

After beginning the week by becoming just the seventh player on the PGA Tour to shoot 59 and the youngest to do so at age 23, he ended it with a birdie to cap a five-under 65 on Sunday at the Sony Open in Hawaii to set a 72-hole scoring record at 253.

Two weeks, two tournaments, two wins...Roll Damn Tide! Not only did Justin Thomas sweep back to back tournaments on the Islands of Aloha to kick off the 2017 PGA Tour season, but he's emerged as the clear (very early) favorite for Player of the Year consideration with significant scores to back it up. In my humble opinion, this should come as no surprise to anyone as Thomas brushed off an opening round 59 like it was nothing, albeit his round could've been even lower had he sunk a couple more chip shots and eagled the final hole on the opening Thursday of the tournament.

Thomas' first two tournaments of 2017 lead you to believe that the 23 year-old has his sights set on big things for this season, but at the same time is helping to revitalize the sport of golf across the tour as a whole. Over the previous three or four seasons, we have seen a resurgence in young talent notably beginning with Masters champion Jordan Spieth, my long-lost twin Rory McIlroy, the PGA's most eligible bachelor Rickie Fowler, reigning POY Dustin Johnson, etc. all being in the mix on Sundays. One of the more interesting notes about this group of golfers isn't just their stellar play on the course, but their cult-like following off the course via social outlets like SnapChat (Rickie kills the SnapChat game) and Instagram (for pictures featuring Paulina Gretzky I'd recommend following DJ). Even if you aren't a fan of golf, chances are you've heard of the infamous SBK2016 which was a heavily documented spring break trip featuring the dynamic foursome of Thomas, Spieth, Fowler and Smylie Kaufman and some not-so-serious-but-serious rounds of golf at Baker's Bay in the Bahamas. Wouldn't expect anything less from four fellas who played their golf at Alabama, LSU, OK State and Texas and dominated every tournament they played.

Fully anticipating a repeat of this trip in 2017, there are other notable social media postings from tour players which are worth noting as well. McIlroy is clearly no stranger to the gym in which he has a history of posting Instagram videos of him training, Johnson is of course married to Paulina Gretzky which is social media gold in itself, Keegan Bradley documenting his honeymoon rather swimingly throughout Europe and Bubba Watson taking us behind the scenes of the Olympic village this past summer in Rio.

In an age where heavy documentation via social media is becoming the norm, millions of people are looking for an even closer look into the lives of their favorite athletes. I will be 100% honest, I just didn't think the most entertaining and interesting athletes to post on Facebook, Instagram etc. would be members of the PGA Tour. There are always warnings from agents, coaches and personal assistants to watch what a client posts on social media (Twitter typically being the medium getting athletes into the most trouble because of their instant thoughts and reactions pertaining to certain topics), but to see the amount of pure gold that was displayed throughout Fowler's SnapChat during SBK2016 will be forever engaging and help build an interest in the sport. Just be smart about it.

http://www.golfdigest.com/story/justin-thomas-record-setting-victory-in-sony-open-a-sign-of-growing-comfort-and-confidence

Bolts Retire St. Louis' Number 26, Leaves Legacy in Tampa...

Marty always had heart. It's what kept him going despite his size. It's what helped land him with the Lightning in 2000 when it seemed like there was nowhere else for him to go. It's what made him the best player in hockey when the Lightning won the Cup. It's why he should make the Hall of Fame. And it's how he should be remembered in Tampa Bay. 

Let me start this post by telling a story, one that has resonated with me since the pinnacle of my playing days and at the height of my interest level in hockey. Back almost ten years ago, I had the privilege of attending hockey camp at the University of Vermont as part of a select camp, which featured the best players in New England for my age group. Among other participants in this camp were names like Cam Atkinson and Jonathan Quick and I was lucky to be among this group.

Unbeknownst to myself and many other campers, UVM was the summer home to Tampa Bay Lightning great Martin St. Louis and was his home base for training in the off-season. One day during camp, while we were supposed to be listening to drill instructions from the counselors, the collective group among us found ourselves fixated on watching this man running the stairs of the Gutterson Fieldhouse with a sack of potatoes resting on each shoulder. This exercise would continue for minutes at a time, which unquestionably led to the screw-up of said drill and would result in us campers lining up on the goal line to perform sprints as punishment.

This image will forever remain in my mind, not because it looked incredibly insane, but as a source of inspiration. No one worked harder and did it better than Marty, from his Stanley Cup championship in 2004 with the Lightning to his leadership to finish out his career for the New York Rangers. He's one of those guys who I could imagine watched the scene in Rudy time and time again as he tried to make a splash in the NHL (You're five-foot nothin', a hundred and nothin', etc. etc.)

Anyone who knows me knows there are two guys who I've considered my favorites growing up watching the NHL: Jaromir Jagr number one because he has the distinct honor of sharing a birthday with me, and Marty St. Louis number 1A because of his size, grit and determination to leave a legacy in the league in which he played ironically at...five foot nothin' and one hundred and nothin'. People forget that coming into the league with the Calgary Flames, he almost fizzled out altogether. However, pairing with fellow Lightning-great Vinny Lecavalier and spunky coach John Tortorella led not only to a championship in Tampa in 2004, but to a career that is unquestionably deemed successful both on and off the ice. Congrats to one of the all-time good guys, Marty did it right and inspired undersized athletes both near and far.

http://www.tampabay.com/sports/hockey/lightning/fennelly-marty-st-louis-stands-tall-as-lightnings-greatest-most-inspiring/2309599

Generational Gap Goes Beyond the Wallet...

SOUTH MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) — Baby Boomers: your millennial children are worse off than you.

With a median household income of $40,581, millennials earn 20 percent less than boomers did at the same stage of life, despite being better educated, according to a new analysis of Federal Reserve data by the advocacy group Young Invincibles.

The analysis being released Friday gives concrete details about a troubling generational divide that helps to explain much of the anxiety that defined the 2016 election. Millennials have half the net worth of boomers. Their home ownership rate is lower, while their student debt is drastically higher.

For one in-explainable reason or another, I have become incredibly infatuated with these types of stories since graduating from college, probably because I fit directly into the demographic that is constantly portrayed. I’ve lived both at home and on my own since graduating in 2011, but have since been interested in hearing the reasons as to why others have done the same. What drives them to move out? What comforts them in living at home? Is it by choice or is it forced (either living at home or on their own)? These questions have become very common over the past few years.

Cheryl Romanowski mentions in the article that opportunities have “just been fading away” for her millennial-aged daughter, which I would say isn’t necessarily true. Instead of saying opportunities have been fading, I would simply say that opportunities are merely different than previous generations. Take myself for example (deep breath). Since 2011, I’ve held six different jobs ranging from three months to 18 months in duration and have had my fair share of issues trying to explain that during a job interview to recruiters both my age and my parents age. All I can say to that, and trust me on this, if you can lucky enough to tolerate your current job, just stay there.

Perhaps I should take my own advice, but personally I find more value in finding a job I enjoy rather than a job which pays highest. That being said, in concurrence with this article, if the boomer generation and millennial generation were road maps, I would compare boomers to a map of New York (straight and narrow) and millennials to, say, Boston (yikes).

My generation is more interested in freelance jobs and projects that are of interest to them both professionally and personally, as opposed to the monotonous 9-5 gig, hence playing a part in the decline of financial well-being. However, if you’re like me, money isn’t a main factor for happiness and this can be a potential reason for the difference in generational stability.

(Which generation's which?)

https://apnews.com/8b688578bf764d3998cca899a448aa33/Millennials-are-falling-behind-their-boomer-parents?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=APBusiness

Resolutions: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em.

Resolutions: a FIRM decision to do or not do something. (Shout out to these good-looking fellas on NYE circa 2013).

It goes without saying what the keyword in this official definition is, but rather ironic because resolutions appear to be anything but firm among many of us at the start of a new calendar year. In my humble opinion, resolutions truly mean something to me. They are a symbol of starting anew, the beginning of a commitment for the year ahead. I've always like resolutions, and I commend myself for keeping them, for the most part.

Let me start by asking you what your resolution(s) is(are) for 2017. Workout more? Eat better? Find your soulmate? Do you even have resolutions? I'll admit, these are a pain in the ass and I'm certain people are sick of talking about them even before the first of the year. However, if you want to get ahead and maintain a healthy lifestyle, resolutions can work wonders.

That being said, here are my five resolutions for the year 2017 (please, for the love of God, let this year be less depressing than the last...)

• Write one hand-written letter a month
• Too often we get wrapped up in touching base with our loved ones via social media, and since I plain forgot what my penmenship looks like I thought 'what the hell?'
• Read one book a month
• Magazines won't count for me this year and I want to build off the amount of books I was able to finish last year (FIVE BIG ONES!)
• Write one blog a week (you're welcome)
• 'Nuff said.
• Become a certified spin instructor
• This could be a stretch, mainly because of the price tag of actually becoming certified combined with the lack of training classes offered in Maine. However, could be a fun night/weekend gig and could share my love of cycling with others.
• Develop a driven and intense attitude towards my career
• Yeah, about that...

Take these for what you will, let them motivate you, and attack 2017 head on. If you can't think of any on your own, use these more reasonable resolutions be your guide (and get a quick laugh while you're at it).

Since You Asked...A Little About Me

(Thank God for all the weddings I had the privilege of attending this summer, plenty of paparazzi around for picture opportunities...)

As a native Mainer, lover of the outdoors and a die-hard New England sports fan, I have spent over five years in the marketing industry and have held numerous positions ranging from customer service, digital analytics and account management. One thing I have yet to dive into is writing/blogging and want to use this platform to build myself a writing portfolio. If you were to ask me five years ago what my dream job would be, I’d tell you either a professional surfer or skier. If you were to ask me five minutes ago what my dream job would be, I’d probably tell you a professional writer about surfing or skiing, with plenty of travel opportunities.

I hope you will enjoy my writing, as I plan to talk about a myriad of topics regarding sports, tech, health and technology. In short, I plan to speak my mind and won’t be sugarcoating much of anything. Onward into 2017…

Aloha,

Brian

What's In a Name? The 'Second Assist' Blog Coming January 2017.

Aloha,

Welcome to The Second Assist. Post numero uno, I think that’s French for “here comes another blog some nobody is publishing.” In fact I’m guessing that if you’re reading this then you’ve probably been directed by my social media postings, or are a close personal friend/family member who feels bad for me. Or, in more likelihood, you’re bored and have nothing else to do. I’m here to tell you: That’s totally fine with me. Keep reading.

Over the past few months I’ve wanted to write. I’ve wanted to write more than I ever have before, especially since I had such a strong passion for it growing up. One of the rare bright spots I’ve been able to find in our year 2016 is the amount of platforms for which people are able to share their ideas and create content that is seemingly either interesting to them or a distinct effort to stir the pot and create controversy in an age where everything is somehow connected. Blogs, comment sections and Twitter all make for platforms where people can be heard (for better or worse) and voice their opinions and nothing is more evident than people voicing their opinions in this past election season, which I will admit has helped inspired me to begin voicing and publishing opinions of my own.

I’ve been influenced by some incredible writers throughout my life, most notably my father who is on the verge of retirement from a job which he’s held for over 40 years. No seriously, he literally retires in three days. Unbelievable. He has a natural ability to put words on a page that go far beyond their meaning, in that those words are most-likely hand-written. He’s old school, and he’s touched a lot of people over the years with these hand-written thoughts. While it is my vow in 2017 (along with a handful of others by the way) to write more hand-written letters, my main goal is to be at least half the man he is because he is indeed a major inspiration to myself and others.

I named my blog (and hopefully soon-to-be podcast, more on that later on) The Second Assist because growing up playing hockey, if they didn’t count second assists as points on the score sheet, I’d rarely have any points. The kid who is credited with the second assist on a snipe of a goal most likely helped start the play that ended up with a goal for the good guys. This blog will feature my take on the latest trends in sports, entertainment, health and technology and I hope to have at least one person read this. My college roommate and close friend Nolan Gerding, aka Owen Nolan, aka @owenthatnolan will also be dabbling in some writing. Thank you, and on to 2017.

-Brian