Let me preface this blog by saying I've always wanted to be a lifeguard. Actually, I always wanted to be a good looking lifeguard. Since I have the looks department pretty well locked up, I still want to one day be a lifeguard for the summer. Growing up on the beach I always imagined it would be the coolest summer gig, I mean what's not to love about being in the sun and on the beach while having the opportunity for saving someone's life? Seems like a win-win to me...
Which leads me to my excitement for the Baywatch movie finally opening tonight. Since the minute I found out it was in production I told myself I would be there on opening night...and well, here we are. The cast is fire and if there's someone needed to cast in the shadow of one David Hasselhoff, I can't think of someone better than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. And, by the way, not only is he cast to save lives on the beach, he's also my pick to save the world as the next President. But I digress...
Anyways, show time is set for 7pm, Saco Cinemagic. Why it isn't playing in IMAX? I have no idea. I write this pre-review at noon and already give it a grade of an A on pure gut instinct. Will be judging on three categories: storyline, cast and audience reaction. More after the show...Let's roll.
Post Show:
Ok, it's 9:10pm and I just finished watching the end credits, which included tons of hilarious outtakes featuring The Rock and Zac Efron laughing their asses off trying to nail some of the lines they were supposed to say in the film. I walked out of the theatre satisfied, as the movie did it's job of being the raunchy and over the top summer comedy it was advertised to be. It was a rainy night and didn't know if I should see it another time or just suck it up and see it, especially since I vowed to see it on opening night for almost a year. I hesitated when I read a few reviews and headlines, all of which called the movie sub-par at best. However, these types of movies do it for me and I've been known to favor the summertime comedy more than others on say, an Oscars list. On to the reviews:
Storyline:
Aside from the young whipper-snappers who may find themselves reading this, Baywatch was a hit television show in the 90's starring one David Hasselhoff, the infamous Pamela Anderson (spoiler, both who made cameos in the film by the way) as they protected the beaches of Baywatch with often a bit over the top story lines that made you feel a bit awkward (things sometimes got a little too intense both on and off the beach). Anyways, the film casts characters with similar names as the television show (The Rock playing Mitch Buchannon as Hasselhoff once played, Efron playing Matt Brody as David Charvet portrayed, etc.) Drugs came into play at Emerald Bay (forgive the rhyming) and Buchannon and his team took it upon themselves to solve the mysteries of my these drugs were floating ashore on their beach, a job often referred to as "a job for actual police." There were explosions, burning boats and a pretty nifty motorcycle scene where Efron drives one not only on the actual beach, but across the pier in which he proceeds to crash the motorcycle and launch himself in perfect 10 form into the ocean to save two clumsy-ass children during his tryout for the Baywatch team. The Rock didn't appreciate it very much...
Cast:
Johnson and Efron obviously the heavy hitters for this summer comedy, followed by a couple scenes from Hannibal Burress and Oscar from The Office, both of who end up dead (sorry, spoiler) due to the real-estate hungry drug-dealer Victoria Leeds. Alexandra Daddario, who slowly became my favorite character, Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera round out the female portion of the Baywatch team. Everyone loves an underdog story, which is where Jon Bass fits into the picture, with an early scene where he gets his balls stuck in a boardwalk and Johnson is forced to help him get out of an uncomfortable situation. Pretty small cast in the grand scheme of things, but it did the trick. A scene that stands out from a fitness perspective, when Efron completes the obstacle course and the dude looks like he should be in a Mr. Universe competition. Good looking guy, in my opinion. Like really?
Audience Reaction:
For a rainy, opening night in Saco Maine, I expected a bit of a larger turnout. However the theatre was about half full (yes I'm an optimist) and there was plenty of laughter during the scenes which called for it. Some of it, admittingly, could've been sarcastic laughter in which boats were blowing up and The Rock was blurting out classic one-liners by describing Efron as a different boy band each time he saw him (listen up N'Sync, Yeah OK One Direction, that kind of thing...) Final thoughts, I give the film a solid B+. It did the trick, it made me laugh, gave me something to do on a rainy Thursday night. Go see it, and go Baywatch.
