Hi, it's been a while (although I feel like anytime I fire up the blogspot I open by saying the exact same thing each time, but whatever). First and foremost, I hope you're well. I'm always thankful for those who stop by and take time out of their lives to read whatever golf-related BS I tend to jot down. Some of it can be compelling, but I find it mostly to be a way to pass time in between Slacks and answering angry client emails, but I digress. This entry goes beyond the fictional parody blog of what Hollywood actor would play PGA Tour players in a movie, or the bland, general recap of the 2018 U.S Open. This is about something we all need to pay much more attention to, because it often cannot be seen in the light of every day life.
May is mental-health awareness month. For those close to me, they'll let out a sarcastic laugh if you ask them how much I tend to talk about high school. Look I get it, I'm responsible for roughly half the total views of our 2007 high school hockey highlight video on YouTube, and I still wear clothes and listen to bands that come from the same prehistoric time period. However one of my greatest memories/accomplishments didn't involve me scoring a clutch goal at USM Ice Arena or even having a 1.000 fielding percentage during my senior baseball season. It was being elected to join a peer group called the Natural Helpers which was part of a larger group of high school students run by an organization called Day One. To be elected, you were chosen by classmates as someone they could turn to to lend an ear or talk about certain issues that someone was dealing with much deeper below the surface of what you see roaming the halls of the school. Some of the conversations I had with either my best friends or people I only interacted with in certain classes changed my life. Being part of this organization changed my life and I still think about what a badge of honor it was to be elected to that group. So much so that I still strive to be someone who regularly checks in with people even when they least expect it on any given day, no matter how much time has passed since I last reached out to them.
So why the f*ck am I telling you this? If you've been around this blog for a while, as stated earlier, I consider myself a rather sizable golf nerd. As I'm sure you've all experienced in current or past jobs, or even around the dinner table talking to family, if anyone were to ask you "what's your dream job", mine would be golf writer, period. So I guess that's why I do it, but again it's more to avoid angry customers during my day job. If you're not a golf junkie like me, the PGA Tour has had a very, very rough 2023-24 season. There's LIV Golf, the world #1 golfer getting arrested before his second round tee time at the PGA Championship in Kentucky and then there's Grayson Murray, who tragically took his own life this weekend, as confirmed today by his family.
Complete gut punch.
My best friend in the world was diagnosed as bipolar a number of years ago and struggled with his mental health in the proceeding years. Since, he's learned how to manage and turned what's he's learned into a massive positive (not to mention the best new father I know). As much as I've wanted to ask him what it's like to be in his shoes over time, admittedly I tended to shy away from getting too engrained into the specifics as it's one of the most delicate issues someone can go through. You want to give them space to "figure it out" as to not remind them of the struggles they're endearing with the thought that it could spark up a negative episode. You want to reach out to friends of friends and immediate family, asking how things are going and if there's anything I can do to help. You're tip-toeing around without so much going directly to the source. People who mean the world to you shouldn't be fielding questions from their own family that are prefaced like "hey, Brian was asking about you the other day, he's wondering how you're doing!"
And to that end, as I'm realizing now, I say fuck that. I should've asked, and I should ask.
Grayson Murray was on tour since 2017 and for those who followed, was a complete hot head at times. Outspoken as he was critical on certain issues on tour, the guy could play golf but it was never easy. He'd played for three colleges in four semesters, finally landed at Arizona State and legendarily qualified for a Korn Ferry Tour event when he was 16. The dude was good at golf, but he was also open and vocal about his struggles with depression and alcoholism which seemingly is related to his brash comments and fiery atitude. The most heart-breaking thing about this story is that his caddie loved him. He worked his absolute ass off to get himself into incredible shape, turned his life around physically and it all came together this past January when he won the Sony Open on the magical island of Oahu, setting himself up on tour for years to come. The guy turned it around, and people noticed. Yet, the worst part about all of this, is that in the eyes of Grayson Murray, winning a tour event and millions of dollars playing professional golf and setting up his schedule for the next two years still wasn't enough. I get emotional thinking of how in the midst of the Charles Schwab tournament this weekend in Texas, he told his caddie and tour officials that he needed to withdraw due to "illness", and the next day he's gone. The beneath-the-surface level struggles that he had to be endearing...well let's just say I'm in tears just thinking about what he'd been going through. For things to be so bad that he'd decided screw it, I'm withdrawing and I'm done.
I don't know, when these types of things happen you start thinking about how you approach your own life and how you present yourself to those around you. Again, one of the great joys of my life is being the guy who proactively reaches out to people, ask them how they're doing, ask "dude, remember that time that THIS happened" and "holy shit, how was this 17 years ago?!". That's what keeps my mental health in a good place, is the nostalgia but also the hope and excitement of what the future holds. Grayson Murray was 30 years old, and it's remarkably obvious that is far too young to say goodbye to a son, friend, fiance etc. My only hope that comes out of this is we continue to check in on each other. Call your family constantly, text your friends regularly and never, ever be afraid to ask for help if you're going down a downward path mentally.
